Randy & Joy Baxter

Married in August of 1987. Randy's second marriage; Joy's first. Randy brought two daughters, ages 11 and 9. Joy brought one daughter, age 5, whom Randy has since adopted. Randy has one granddaughter from his oldest daughter.

Randy is a professional with a major insurance company and returning for a graduate degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Joy's background is in retail management, administrative organization and nursing.

Comment: "Living at peace with Randy's ex-wife is one of our many rewards for working hard over the years. This lessened the loyalty struggles Randy's children have faced. We have equal access to the children and grandchild as well as respect for one another because we honor the significance of all the parental roles in our stepfamily. This did not happen overnight. It was a process that challenged us to move outside ourselves and brought growth over time."

Gary & Elaine Brattain

Married in May of 1992. Both were previously married. Gary brought two sons, ages 16 and 9, and a daughter, age 13. Elaine brought a son, age 18, and a daughter, age 16. Four are now married and together they have 8 grandchildren. The youngest son is currently serving in the armed services.

When Gary and Elaine met, Elaine had a long-term career in corporate management and Gary had a long-term career as a builder and a consultant. Three years into the marriage Elaine and Gary decided to work together as an "entrepreneurial couple." This decision has presented many heartaches, challenges and rewards.

Comment: "We cannot say that we would recommend working together to any married couple. It's hard enough that you are dealing with stepfamily issues every day, but to throw in being together at work the rest of the time adds a new dimension to problem solving and communications. The very fine line between our business and personal life was easily blurred. Learning to communicate properly helped us survive our relationship as well as brought out and forced us to identify our extreme differences-both positive and negative. We all think we know what we're doing when we get married-whether the first time or subsequently. Without a deep, abiding, committed love along with good communication and resolution, none of us would survive the day."

Steve & Karen Earle

Married in June of 1993. Steve's second marriage; Karen's first. Steve brought a daughter, age 14. Four years into their marriage they took in Steve's nieces, age 10 and 11.

Steve is a computer professional; Karen is an educator/writer.

Comment: "Despite our combined years of working with people and understanding human nature, it became obvious to us that we would have to develop a whole new skill set in order to successfully 'blend' some very divergent worlds. We had to first learn how to communicate with each other, and the downstream effect has been greater understanding in all relationships, both personal and professional. Knowing what we know now, when we encounter other stepfamilies, kinship-caregivers and foster families, we cannot imagine how any of them will survive without also gaining these unique skills and understandings."

Craig & Colleen Johnson

Married in August of 2000. Second marriage for both. Craig brought a son, age 17; Colleen brought a son, age 9.

Craig is a digital photographer. Colleen is a registered nurse.

Comment: "Education is essential to a successful stepfamily. Just knowing that some of our experiences are 'normal' and predictable when putting a stepfamily together makes all the difference. The Taylors's information has been invaluable to us both as individuals and as a stepcouple and stepfamily. Thank you, Carri and Gordon!"

Joe & Ana Lopez

Married in August of 1996. Second marriage for both. Joe brought three daughters, ages 18, 16 and 9. Ana also brought three daughters, ages 18, 16 and 11. Ana currently has three grandchildren.

For 28 years Joe has been a deputy sheriff and a district attorney's investigator. For 26 years, Ana has been a county employee in California and is currently a welfare fraud investigator.

Comments: "We attribute whatever success we have had in stepfamily living to God's graciousness in providing key people and groups who directed, counseled and nurtured us through the frustrations, complexity and mental reframing of today's stepfamilies. That includes First Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton, California, Randy & Joy Baxter, Gordon & Carri Taylor, and Bill & Mary Jane Peterson.

Comment: "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." 2 Cor. 12: 9
"So many issues… so little time. Who let the dogs out? Expect the unexpected!"

Tony & Tamera Richard

Married in March of 1998. Third marriage for both. Tony brought three daughters, ages 16, 11 and 4. Tammy brought four sons, ages 20, 17, 15 and 9.

Tony and Tamera work together in a family business that supplies optical and static dissipative plastic products for entertainment, microchip and military applications. Tony is President of the company and works directly with Tammy's father and sister, the CEO and COO respectively. Tammy is Director of Marketing. She also has an active Interior Design career.

Comment: "All the preparation we did before our marriage has not only helped us find satisfaction in our marriage and family, but has given us the vision to be involved in taking this information to others. It has also made us aware of how our children have been affected by the tragedy of divorce and how to help them process their losses. There are rewards."

Rewards of being a stepfather:
"Tammy's oldest son struggled through her divorce. He was young and did not have the skills to cope with his feelings. His anger and fear manifested themselves in a destructive way and he eventually dropped out of high school and moved out to live on his own. After two years and many sessions in communication training, he developed a plan to go back to school and get his degree. His goal was to not only graduate from college, but to attend UCLA and get a bachelor's degree. Tamera and I have supported his decision and done whatever we could to help him move forward.

"My reward came on a Tuesday afternoon when I received a phone call from him. He had moved into student housing at UCLA (where he is now going to school!) and had the opportunity to attend the first UCLA football game of the year. The phone call was to invite me to attend this game with him. This young man could have asked one of his brothers, his father or grandfather, but he called me. UCLA lost that day and I think it was one of the best games I have ever seen. Sign me, One very happy stepfather."

Bob & Karen Watts

Married in August of 1980. Bob's first marriage; Karen's third. Karen brought a son, age 8. Ten years later, Bob and Karen adopted an eight-year-old boy.

Bob is a special-education teacher; Karen is a hairstylist.

Comment: "We began our new life with the belief that we had all the tools necessary to succeed: counseling, classes, and books on having a successful marriage. Our idealist attitude was shattered within the first six months. We discovered that we knew nothing about dealing with stepfamily issues. Ten years later, after many trials and errors, we were blessed to take our first class on stepparenting from Gordon and Carri. We gained valuable tools that would have prevented many painful experiences. We are richer in knowledge and grateful for their first-hand experience and ministry."